与“另一位女人”约会 That“Other Woman”in My Life
佚名/Anonymous
After 22 years of marriage, I've discovered the secret to keeping love and intimacy alive in my relationship with my wife, Peggy:I started dating another woman.
It was Peggy's idea, actually.“You know you love her,”she said one day, taking me by surprise.“Life is too short. You need to spend time with the people you love. You probably won't believe me, but I think that if the two of you spend more time together, it will make us closer.”
The“other woman”my wife was encouraging me to date is my mother, a 72-year-old widow who has lived alone since my father died 20 years ago. Right after his death, I moved 2，500 miles away to California and started my own family and career. When I moved back near my hometown six years ago, I promised myself that I would spend more time with Mom. But with the demands of my job and three kids, I never got around to seeing her much beyond family get-togethers and holidays.
She was surprised and suspicious, then, when I called and suggested the two of us go out to dinner and a movie.“What's wrong?”she asked. My mother thinks anything out of the ordinary signals bad news.
“I thought it would be nice to spend some time with you,”I said,“Just the two of us.”
“I'd like that a lot,”she replied.
As I drove to her house, I actually had a case of predate jitters!What would we talk about?What if she didn't like the restaurant I chose?
When I pulled into her driveway, she was waiting by the door with her coat on. Her hair was curled, and she was smiling.“I told my lady friends I was going out with my son, and they were all impressed,”she said as she got into my car.“They can't wait to hear about our evening.”
We didn't go anywhere fancy, just a neighborhood place where we could talk. My mother clutched my arm, half out of affection and half to help her negotiate the restaurant steps.
We had a nice talk over dinner. Nothing earth shattering, just catching up with each other's lives. We talked for so long that we missed the movie.
“I'll go out with you again,”my mother said as I dropped her off,“but only if you let me buy dinner next time.”I agreed.
“How was your date?”my wife asked when I got home that evening.
“Nice……nicer than I thought it would be,”I said. She smiled her told you so smile.
Mom and I go out for dinner a couple of times a month. Sometimes we take in a movie, but mostly we talk. I tell her about my trials at work and brag about the kids and Peggy.
Mom fills me in on family gossip and tells me about her past. Now I know what it was like for her to work in a factory during World War II.I know how she met my father there, and how they nurtured a trolley car courtship through those difficult times. I can't get enough of these stories. They are important to me, a part of my history.
We also talk about the future. Because of health problems, my mother worries about the days ahead.“I have so much living to do,”she told me once.“I need to be there while my grandchildren grow up. I don't want to miss any of it.”
Like many baby boomers, I tend to fill my calendar to the brim as I struggle to fit family, career and friendships into my life. I often complain about how quickly time flies. Spending time with my Mom has taught me the importance of slowing down.
Peggy was right. Dating another woman has helped my marriage.
与妻子佩姬结婚22年了，我发现使我们爱情真挚长久的秘诀是：我开始约会“另一位女人”。
这实际是佩姬的主意。“你明明知道你爱她，”一天，妻子对我说，我大吃一惊，“生命如此短暂，一定要与你爱的人共度。你也许不相信我的话，可是我觉得如果你俩共度更多的时光，会使我们的关系更融洽。”
妻子鼓励我约会的“另一位女人”就是我的母亲，一位72岁的寡妇。自从20年前父亲死后，她就一直一个人生活。父亲去世不久，我就搬到了2500英里外的加州，成家并开创了自己的事业。六年前我搬回家乡附近，希望能有更多时间陪母亲。但因为工作繁忙，还要照顾三个年幼的孩子，除了家人聚会和节假日外，我从没其他时间去看望母亲。
我给她打电话，提出和她一块儿出去吃晚饭，然后看电影时，她惊讶不已，甚至有些怀疑，问我：“发生什么事情了？”母亲认为非正常的信息多会带来坏消息。
“我就是想和您开开心心地聚一聚，”我说，“就我们俩。”
“我很高兴接受你的邀请。”她答道。
在开车前往母亲家的路上，我的确有种赴约前的紧张不安感。我们该谈论些什么话题呢？要是她不喜欢我选的餐馆怎么办呢？
当我把车开到她家车道时，她已穿好外套站在门口等我了。她卷了头发，微笑着：“我和朋友们说我要和儿子出去玩，她们都为我高兴。”她边上车边说，“她们都急不可待地想听我和你聚会的事情呢。”
我们没去高档饭店，只就近选了一家适合聊天的餐馆。母亲挽着我的胳膊，这样既表现出母子情深，同时也能帮她迈过饭店的台阶。
吃饭时我们谈得很开心。没谈论什么大事，都是生活中的一些琐碎小事儿。我们谈了很长时间，竟然连电影都没赶上。
“我还想和你一起出来，”下车时，母亲说，“不过，下次你得让我埋单。”我答应了。
“你们的约会怎样？”那天回到家后，妻子问我。
“非常好……比我想象中的好多了。”我说。妻子笑了，那笑中分明有“我说得没错吧”的意味。
以后每个月，我都陪母亲外出吃两三顿饭。偶尔我们也会去看场电影，但多数时间我们还是聊天。我向她讲述工作的事，也向她夸奖孩子和佩姬。
母亲向我讲了许多家庭琐事，还有她的过去。直到现在，我才知道“二战”期间她在一家工厂工作的情况。她是在那儿认识父亲的。他们那些在艰苦岁月中有轨电车里的爱情故事，对我来说百听不厌。它们对我极其重要，几乎成了我的历史的一部分。
我们也谈及了未来。因为身体的原因，母亲很担心以后的日子。“我还有许多事情要做。”有一次，她对我说，“我想看到孙儿们长大成人，我不想错过任何一个这样的机会。”
与大多数战后出生的人一样，当我努力兼顾家庭、事业和友谊等各个方面时，我的日程便安排得很满。我常抱怨时间过得太快，与母亲共享时光让我意识到了将生活节奏放慢的重要。
佩姬说得没错，约会“另一位女人”的确使我们的夫妻感情更融洽了。
词汇笔记
intimacy['intiməsi]n.亲昵的言行；熟悉；亲密；密切关系
He refused to tell it to me except in the intimacy of his room.
除非避开众人耳目在他房间里谈，否则他不肯把这件事告诉我。
suspicious[səs'piʃəs]adj.怀疑的
I have not betrayed you, betrayed our feelings, it is suspicious of you.
我没有背叛过你，没有背叛过我们的感情，是你多心了。
predate['pri:'deit]n.在日期上早于；提早日期；预期
In fact, stone tools predate human history.
事实上，早期人类就开始使用石器。
Jitter['dʒitə]n.抖动；紧张不安；跳动
The dedicated capacity gives no latency or jitter between the endpoints.
这个专用的容量赋予在端点之间无延迟时间或剧跳。
小试身手
生命如此短暂，一定要与你爱的人共度。
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六年前我搬回家乡附近，希望能有更多时间陪母亲。
译____________________________
他们那些在艰苦岁月中有轨电车里的爱情故事，对我来说百听不厌。
译____________________________
短语家族
You need to spend time with the people you love.
need to do：需要去做
造____________________________
……just catching up with each other's lives.
catch up with：赶上；对……产生恶果；指出……出了差错
造____________________________